It has been years since I have seen any of the Indiana Jones movies, but within the first fifteen minutes all I could think about was, “Harrison Ford is still a badass.” Because he is pretty awesome. Even at 64, he still does stunts, cracks his whip and basically tells those Commies where to put it. The story is pretty much this: He gets kidnapped by some Russians who want his help finding this thing hidden in a warehouse. He helps them find it and then meets this kid, Mutt (Shia LaBeouf) who tells him Indie’s old friend and Mutt’s mentor has been kidnapped, along with Mutt’s mother. After a few crazy motorcycle scenes, they end up in Peru to track down their friends. Turns out Mutt’s mother is Indie’s old love, Marion. They go about trying to take this crazy crystal skull back to the place it belongs, but of course, the Russians chase them.

 

I think I always liked Indiana Jones because he doesn’t really use weapons (except for his whip), but he uses his wiles and his fists to fight them. This movie is no exception. He continues to fight evil with his fists and his whip (and the occasional Russian weapon attached to a tank). Plus, he’s always doing it to do the right thing. He’s the good guy. You want him to win because he’s the good guy.

 

Cate Blanchett plays the leader of the KGB group after the crystal skull. This movie really solidifies her as an actress who can pretty much do anything she wants. She can play an Elf Queen and be fantastic. She can be Bob Dylan and be amazing. She can be a commanding Russian with black hair and a sword and be superb. Honestly, she can do no wrong.

Then there’s Shia LaBeouf. Yes, I think he’s cute and he really fits his character in this. The movie takes place in the 50s and he’s a greaser. He’s constantly combing his hair, rarely takes off his leather jacket, wears rolled up jeans and drives an awesome motorcycle. I thought he was good in his role, but I spent most of the movie thinking, “You just got into a sword fight with Cate Blanchett. You just climbed through a cave with Harrison Ford.” In short, what an amazing experience.

 

I did notice two random actors in the movie: Bradford Meade/Caleb Nichols/Charles Widmore is in the movie for a couple minutes playing a guy who works for the U.S. government. And the guy who plays Bridget Jones’s dad plays the dean of the university Indie works for. Kinda funny.

 

Cindy keeps pointing out a reference to Star Wars (of course!) but I picked up on the reference to “The Untouchables”. Mutt and Indie are sitting in a diner and these Russians come up and want to fight. Mutt pulls out his switchblade on them and Indie says “You just brought a knife to a gun fight” which is what Sean Connery’s character says (more or less) in “The Untouchables”. Shout out to Sean who wasn’t in the movie, but will always be Henry Jones, Sr.

 

My aunt said it was the best of the Indiana movies. I’d have to rewatch them again, but I was definitely not let down.

 

Rating: Four out of Five Whips!

Okay this movie was quite hilarious. Tina Fey’s character wants a baby. She can’t get pregnant so she hires Amy Poelher’s character to carry it for her. Amy and her seedy boyfriend Carl (Dax Sheperd) break up and Amy moves in with Tina. Basically, Tina’s helping her grow up (and grow a baby) while Amy teaches Tina not to be so serious. I can’t say too much without giving away the plot which I was not expecting. The movie was funny (of course) and had some really funny lines. Tina and Amy definitely have chemistry together and play off each other really well. I didn’t know Greg Kinnear was going to be playing Tina’s love interest in the movie (although I still see him as kind of gay like in “As Good As It Gets”).

 

I know this was a short and not very descriptive review, but I recommend it. It’s got all the good elements of a movie: humor, sweetness, moral, twist. (The only thing missing was a really hot guy, but the dude from “Weeds” was in it and he’s pretty cute so we’ll go with that.)

 

Rating: Four out of Five Cans of Pam

So I’ve seen Iron Man twice so I obviously liked it. Basically, Tony Starck runs a company that makes weapons. He is in Afghanistan, the motorcade is blown up and this crazy terrorist guy tells him he’s locked up until he makes the Jericho missile. Instead, he builds a crazy iron suit and goes about escaping. He spends the rest of the movie perfecting his suit and fighting evil trying to right all his wrongs he caused when he made the weapons in the first place. Then he’s got conflict with his partner/his deceased father’s old friend who profits highly off these weapons and wants to keep them out there in the world.

 

So a few notes about the men in this movie: Robert Downey Jr. is attractive. More so than he’s been in a while. He did have some perfectly groomed facial hair which was kind of weird, but he is still very attractive and still looks a bit like a badass. Actually, Tony Starck is a guy trying to do good, but is still a badass. He still drives hot cars, has an awesome Malibu house (which I expect someone to buy for me), still gets the ladies and still fights…it’s just that his fights are for the greater good. Then there’s Jeff Bridges who plays the antagonist in the movie. He is bald and has a paunch. Actually, he just scared me through the whole thing. My mom didn’t even realize it was Jeff Bridges until I said something to her. Ugh. The movie was directed by Jon Favreau who has a part as a chauffer/errand boy for Tony and he kind of lingers behind in a few scenes. The movie also has Terrance Howard as Tony’s best friend and a weapons specialist for the U.S. government. I don’t find him that attractive, but whatever. He was still good in the movie, providing a bit of a moral compass for Tony.

 

Gwyneth Paltrow played Pepper Potts, Tony’s ever present assistant. There’s obviously some chemistry between the two of them, but she doesn’t put up with any of his crap and dishes it out as much as he does. She’s always there, however, to bring him coffee or gifts (and to tell him when he’s being a jackass). She is funny and charming and you want to be around a girl like you. Plus, she runs through broken glass and a floor that has got to be nothing but metal grating in insanely high heels.

 

All of that being said, the movie was worth my time times two. It was good versus evil, it had cool weapons and cars and the characters were all well developed. It was a bit dark at times (being that they’re fighting terrorists) but the dialogue stays fairly light and engaging.

 

A couple trivia facts (I know, I know) to add: Gwyneth Paltrow took the part because she would only have to go fifteen minutes away from her kids while filming. You can see Stan Lee (of Marvel comics) at the party with three blondes when Tony walks by and says “Hey, Hugh”.  Hah love Stan Lee. I loved him especially in Mallrats. And stay until the end of the credits!

 

Rating: Four and a half out of Five Heart Implants

Jayme keeps making mention of this book; presumably because I have said so many things about it since I read it. I bought this book for a couple reasons: (1) because I love mix tapes, (2) because I love music and (3) because it was buy 2 get the 3rd free. I started reading it almost immediately and while it wasn’t one of those books I couldn’t put down, it was definitely one I wanted to keep reading.

 

It’s part memoir, part memory and part playlist. Rob starts the book talking about his life in general. And then goes into how he met his wife in the 80s and how perfect they were for each other, finding little ways to live their life in their own balanced way. Each chapter starts off with a playlist that described that moment in his life. Rob goes into why he listened to those songs then, what memories those songs bring back to him even now. Sometimes they’re rock, sometimes they’re random blues songs, sometimes it’s a bunch of songs by the same artist, sometimes it’s just completely random.  But Renee suddenly died one day in their apartment. Rob was beside himself. There was so much buildup in the book about how great she was, how quirky and seemingly perfect for him and then she was just gone. You feel his pain because you’ve grown to love her as well. There is a part right after she died where he kept thinking the hospital was going to call and say it was just a mistake, that she hadn’t really died. He drives to the town where she grew up and takes the cordless phone in the car in case the hospital calls. It wasn’t a cell phone, it was just the cordless phone from his house. He knew it wouldn’t work, but somehow it made him connected. Rob has to learn to move on without Renee. He’s in his 20s and how do you do that? He spends on chapter talking about how he connected with Jackie Kennedy because she too didn’t know how to breathe after she lost her spouse. He didn’t know how to sleep in the bed without her there, how to talk without having her finish his sentences. This book was so grief stricken that you want to sit there and feel the pain with him because it’s almost too much to bear to move on. And it wasn’t your friend, your wife, your sister.

 

Rob has an ease in his writing that immediately draws you in. It’s more like he’s writing you a letter about a brief second of his life rather than you just reading a book. You want to cry with him, laugh with him, hug him. It’s such a deep heartbreaking story that you want to find him and pick him up and find some way to help him. But he knows that. He knew everyone was like that after he lost Renee. He talks about how he wasn’t sure how to tell people he hadn’t seen in years that Renee had died. You have to laugh reading this book about how his punk rock wife died right before Missy Elliott became big which was such a shame because she would’ve loved her. It makes you wish you could be like her or have someone love you like he loves her. It’s a beautiful book full of lines that seem to encapsulate the exact feeling at the perfect moment. I know how hard it is to put your feelings out there, especially about something as close to home as this, but he does it in such a touching tribute to Renee. And he knows that it’s exactly what she would’ve wanted.

 

 

 

I will admit I am not a big comic book reader (unless you count Archie Comics which I used to read religiously) so I wasn’t quite sure what Iron Man did, except for what I saw in the trailers. I knew he was a Marvel superhero. I know I like most superhero/superpower movies that I’ve seen. So with little expectations, I stood in a line outside the movie theater to get a seat (after we changed tickets for a later time when the first one had absolutely no seats in it). I can say I was not disappointed. I wouldn’t give it a fantastic review like most critics have been giving it, but part of that may be because I drank a bottle of wine before I went and saw an 11 o’clock movie so I was kind of tired at the beginning of it.

 

Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.) is a really rich man who runs his family’s business of making weapons to supply to the U.S. government. He graduated from MIT at a young age and is pretty much a genius when it comes to technology. He lives in a cool glass house on a cliff in Malibu. He is kind of a loner, kind of a rebel. He gets captured by some Middle Eastern men who try to force him to build them a weapon. Instead he builds an iron suit that can fly, shoot fire, basically kick their tails. When he gets back home, he goes about perfecting his suit and making it the ultimate machine. I like that RD Jr. plays characters that aren’t too far from who he really is. The last thing I saw him in was “Charlie Bartlett” where he was a selfish alcoholic which was pretty much RD Jr. for the past decade. Now he’s cleaned up his act, but I like him as Tony Stark because he’s not trying to be something he’s not. He is what he is and I really admired that in his character. He’s not trying to be some suave ladies man or anything, but he definitely gets some ladies in his own way. Gwenyth Paltrow played Pepper Potts, Stark’s tall assistant who pretty much keeps him in line all the time. She’s funny and a bit of a damsel in distress, but also doesn’t put up with a lot of his crap. (Trivia: The only reason Paltrow took this part was because she would be close to home so she wasn’t far from her little kids.) Jeff Bridges plays the creepy villain (mostly scary because of his bald head which is really shaved) who builds his own iron suit to try to take on Iron Man. Terrence Howard plays a member of the U.S. government and Tony’s friend. He has to battle with Tony trying to wage his own war versus what the government is doing to protect our friendly skies. There isn’t a whole lot to the story to tell. Tony battles good and evil, trying to keep his weapons from getting into the wrong hands. Bridges character is mad because he helped build Stark Industries with Tony’s dad and it all got ripped away from him and given to Tony. He’s jealous so he wants to wage his own war. Battle ensues. I like the scene where Stark goes to a press conference to address (or dodge) the events of the previous night. He is given an alibi and prompted what to say. Stark, being the guy he is, doesn’t quite stick to the lines. In the end, good conquers evil. Or does it?

 

If you haven’t heard by now, this is one of those where you have to wait past the credits for the special scene. In this one, Stark comes into his house and is told to get the m.f.ing snakes of the m.f.ing plane. Okay, watch it and you’ll get it. It segues into Iron Man 2 and apparently a lot of other comic book stuff which I kind of knew, but was told all about by Jayme (all around comic book nerd and brainiac). Overall I thought the movie was entertaining. I guess I don’t know enough about the comic book to be all that hyped, but it was still pretty good. I am always a fan of the normal person who is a superhero because he can build or afford really cool things (a la Batman). It gives all us little guys hope. At least until we wake up and realize I have innate superhuman powers and can turn people into stone.

 

Rating: Three and a half rocket launchers.

I am a self admitted lover of Freaks and Geeks. I like to watch my dvds on Sunday afternoons or any rainy day and relive all the great moments and hilarious lines. [Thanks to Jessica for getting me so involved in both F&Gs and My So Called Life.] That being said, I have loved Jason Segal for a long time. I wanted Lindsay and Nick to end up together so bad. I loved when he played the drums for her for like 2 hours and when he showed up at her house and took a bunch of Fruit Roll Ups with him. I loved that he liked her so much and wanted to be right for her, even though he was stoned most of the time. That being said, of course I will have a big soft spot for a movie that Jason Segal wrote and starred in.

 

We’ve all sent the trailers and mass promotion for FSM. Peter’s hot girlfriend dumps him, he is beside himself with grief, he decides to take a vacation to Hawaii, he runs into her and her new rock star boyfriend and he meets the front desk clerk, Rachel, (Mila Kunis, who got really good looking since “That 70s Show”) who tries to help him get over it and get on with his life. Let me just say, in order to prepare you, there is nudity. We all see the trailer where she dumps in and he drops his towel on the floor. Well there you have it. Camera pans down. I was not aware of this (and it’s not all that brief) and felt a tad bit uncomfortable sitting next to my innocent 19 year old cousin watching that. That being said, however, it is hilarious. Jason Segal completely has down the awkward moment stuff which makes him great to watch. You feel bad for him (come on! his hot girlfriend of like 3 years is breaking up with him!) but you still want him to cover up. He is like a sad little puppy that’s peeing on your floor. You don’t want him to do it, but you kind of feel bad scolding him for it. The movie is full of awkwardness between him and his ex (Kristin Bell) and her wildly inappropriate new boyfriend (Russell Brand) as they sit together at dinner in Hawaii, see each other at brunch, and end up in adjacent hotel rooms. Rachel works at the front desk and takes a shine to Peter and tries to help him get over Sarah by taking him out for beer and letting him just be himself, so much of what he’s ended up stifling to keep Sarah around. There are really funny parts, including some ever witty dialogue delivered by Jonah Hill and the cute Paul Rudd as well as Peter’s friendship with his married stepbrother. Peter is not only on a road to recovery, but to self discovery. After three years, how much of himself has he lost in staying with Sarah? And how is he going to get it back?

 

I watched an interview on MTV.com with Jason Segal talking about specific parts of the movie and he tells the interviewer he really did get dumped naked and he knew he had to put it in a movie. He also said he took her flowers and said the words to some utterly cheesy song to her trying to win her back. She didn’t take him back, but she kept the flowers. That interview made me like him even more because I think it takes a great person to put the really crap times in their life into a movie or a book for the entire world to see. Maybe that’s just maturing enough to move on and laugh about it. Additionally, he said the best part of the movie (in my mind) came from a real life experience: Dracula puppets. Peter tells Rachel he works composing for a TV show, but really wishes he could finish his Dracula puppet opera. She urges him to sing part of it on stage at this bar which leads to the looks of both horror and laughter. [He meant for it to be serious, but do you really take that seriously?] I won’t spoil the ending of the movie for you, but Dracula puppets are an excellent idea and hearing Jason Segal sing the part of Dracula just made me smile.

 

So to find out whether or not Peter can really get over Sarah Marshall and if he can get back to living his life again – on his own terms – you should check out the movie. Just beware of who you watch it with if you may feel uncomfortable watching sex/nude/explicit things with anyone.

 

[Bonus: I saw it in the theater and got to see the first full length trailer for “The Pineapple Express” with James Franco and Seth Rogen. I am way excited because it just reminds me of the good ol’ days when Seth’s character dated a hermaphrodite and Daniel was having a perfect love-hate relationship with Kim Kelley. Oh, I wish I would’ve been a Freak.]

 

Rating: Four “I hate you, Sarah Marshall “billboards.  

I wanted to see this movie because (a) it looked funny and (b) I love Simon Pegg. Honestly, he makes me laugh so hard. And I’m not a huge sci-fi fan, but I am hyped about the new Star Trek because he’s in it. Then Jessica told me the movie was funny so I went to see it and it didn’t fail to live up to my standards.

 

Premise: Dennis is getting married to his pregnant girlfriend. He freaks out and runs out on her. Five years later, he’s a lame security guard at a woman’s clothing store and gets to see his insanely cute son, Jake, on a pretty regular basis. In comes his ex-lady love, Libby, who is dating Whit (played by Hank Azaria). Whit is “Peter Perfect”, great job, great looks, great apartment. He is everything Dennis is not. It’s the age old tale of trying to prove to your baby mama why you’re better than the rich, successful, hot guy she’s dating by entering a marathon. Actually, Whit tells Dennis he’s running in the Nike River Run, which is no big deal (yeah, running 26 miles is no big deal…I had memories of me in a 5k running through my head) since he does charity marathons all the time. So lazy Dennis starts training. Which is horrible. Then he gets some much needed assistance from his friend Gordon (played by the guy who played David in Shaun of the Dead) and his landlord, Mr. Gansasdjfoho (I really don’t know what they were saying). After many failed attempts and many mishaps, Dennis has to decide whether or not it’s really worth running because Libby doesn’t seem to be running back to him. I think there comes a time in everyone’s life where they have to look back at the reasons they’re doing something and evaluate the validity of those reasons. In Dennis’ case, it took the thought of losing his son as motivation to get his pasty white legs out to the marathon.

 

Without giving too much away, Dennis almost doesn’t make it and runs on a sprained ankle far after the race is over, proving he will not give up. This race isn’t necessarily about a woman or a bet or to beat Whit, but because he needs to, for once, not run in the wrong direction.

 

One of my favorite parts was when Dennis reaches “the wall” which is the place all runners get to in a race. Whether it’s at “5 miles or 25 miles” they all reach a point where they hit a brick wall and can’t get past it. Can’t breathe, can’t think, they just can’t seem to get around it. All of a sudden everyone else is gone, the night is calm but there’s a huge brick wall in front of Dennis. He can’t go around it because it’s too long and he can’t get through it. Finally one brick gets pushed out and he gets on his tiptoes to see himself on the other side waving him over. I think this was a poignant part of the movie because, whether we’re runners or not, we all reach the wall. Everyone comes to a point in their lives where they can’t go on. We just slump down against the wall and try to give up. I think the wall is in everyone’s lives because we have to learn to persevere, to step back, get a running start and smash through it.

 

Anyway, there were some very funny and heartwarming parts throughout the movie. I loved seeing the flashbacks to the times when Libby and Dennis were happy. I thought Dennis’ relationship with his son was so great because he really did want the best for him, even if it meant getting arrested. And Hank Azaria’s character was really funny, one of the guys you love to hate…and love. And as a sidenote (because I am the IMDB queen), there’s a locker room scene where Hank Azaria is powdering “himself” after a spinning class and he’s talking to Dennis completely nude. If there is a nude scene in movies, the guy puts a flesh colored sock like thing to cover up any anatomy. But Hank Azaria decided to forgo it in this movie thereby making Simon Pegg’s reactions completely real. Knowing this before hand is pretty funny because you can see him trying to get through the lines without laughing or wincing.  

 

Right before the movie started, a lady walked in with three kids, all under the age of 12. That was distracting enough because I didn’t think it was little kid appropriate, but of course, they sit right next to me. I’m sitting in the perfect seat (I was the first one in the theater) but she sits on my row with the kids who were asking for popcorn and candy the whole time. More than that, I was cringing at some of the parts (particularly ones of sexual nature and curse words) because I didn’t think those kids should’ve seen some of that. But they weren’t my kids so whatever.

 

By the way, yes, I cried. It was a heartwarming movie, but I’m a sap and cry at a lot of things. I say this movie is worth your $9 (even though I had a free movie coupon for it).

 

Rating: Four out of Five Metal Spatulas

Smart People is mediocre, rather than smart. Like most movies, it was one that took up just under two hours of my life because I had very little to do (besides study for the GRE, of course) but it only provided mild entertainment for that period of time. It was at times slow, and more often, uncomfortable. The basic premise of the movie: irate widower professor gets hurt, causing him to rely on the assistance of his daughter, estranged son and adopted slacker brother. Brother moves in, son continues to stay far away at the college his father teaches at, daughter continues to be prodigal child while obviously dealing with severe social problems. Professor meets doctor who used to have a student crush on him. They date, break up, date, he gets more distant from his daughter, things go haywire, have to decide how to put their lives back together. The point of it being can smart people truly acclimate to society (or are they destined to stay distant and strange to all the normal people?)

 

I guess my main problem [which seems to be the problem of critics as well] is that none of the characters seem warm or genuinely likable. They all have their moments, but it’s more few and far between. There are some funny lines and some interesting dynamics, but for the most part, I didn’t feel like I was rooting too much for anyone because none of them were all that likeable.

 

That being said, Ellen Page, was pretty great. I think her character was supposed to be unlikable. I think we were supposed to feel uncomfortable with a 17 year old girl who has no friends and volunteers at the Republican society on Christmas Eve and knows all the words on her SATs. She wears dowdy skirts with long sweater vests and is the quintessential nerdy girl who would rather translate the Christmas recipe from old French than just be a normal teenager. But I think it’s okay for her character to be like this and face a transformation because she is seventeen years old and has yet to realize how she should grow up with her weird father and without her mother. [Sidenote: Jessica just brought up a good point. Ellen Page is now doing the whole cynical teenage girl thing really well. There was Juno which was so different from the straight-laced girl in this movie, but they’re both essentially the same. They are both struggling to find what they need out of life. But maybe that’s just the point of being a teenager. You’re still trying to figure out what everything means and how you fit into the world. I’m not a teenager, but I’m still trying to figure that out. I just hope she’s not 30 years old and still playing that same type of role.]

 

You can contend Dennis Quaid’s character should be able to act the way he did because he lost his wife, but I just didn’t feel it. I never felt drawn to him, I never felt like he was acting in any way except selfishly. But maybe that was the point. Maybe he was supposed to be selfish so at the end he had to decide whether to accept little doctor girlfriend and his brother and his daughter and his son or if he just continues on being a jerk and stay miserable.

 

I felt bad for the son who tries to stay away from his father, but still comes around the house and lets his dad barge into his room because it’s his dad. I might have liked some more development on him simply because he was more interesting than the rest of them. In the beginning he seems average, but in truth, he is smart just like the rest of them (he’s a poet).

 

Thomas Haden Church failed to impress me, but perhaps, it was because his porn ‘stache was really gross to look at. And his naked butt. He at least gave some dichotomy to the family, proving that you don’t have to be socially inept all the time, even if you are smart.

 

And shout out to the guy who plays Roy on “The Office”. He was cute, funny and gay!

 

In the end, I feel just okay about the movie. It ended the way it rightfully should have. A lot of critics were saying it wasn’t that great because the characters were pretty wretched [one in particular said they didn’t understand how Sarah Jessica Parker’s character could fall for a crotchety old guy like Dennis Quaid’s character]. They didn’t do any character development to give you a reason to believe she was any better than him. Sure, she was the head of the E.R. and drove a really cool Audi, but she lived in a crappy apartment and freaked out after intimacy. Does someone being a doctor make them any less neurotic or any more fantastic than a professor? I think one day I’ll be a professor and I sure hope I don’t turn out like him, but sometime people are a little nutty. Truth is, everyone is a little nutty, and some just conceal it better than others. Some just hide it so far down that is never gets out. But it’s there whether you want it to be or not. At least in their case, they both found someone to best compliment that part of them.  

 

So, be the best person you can possibly be and let those around you help you be a fantastic  you. Even us smart people.

 

Rating: Three out of Five copies of “You Can’t Read”

Movie Review: Never Back Down

 

I apparently have a hot guy theme going on, but that is definitely not the only movies I watch (however, it never hurts). In this movie, Jake Tyler (played by Sean Faris) is the quintessential troubled teen. He has seen his share of tragedy and has taken to lashing out. In the beginning of the movie we see him on the football field tackling any person who comes up against him. His mom then relocates him and his brother to Orlando and he tries to stay on the straight and narrow. He meets the archetypal pretty blonde chick and sticks up for her by answering the professor’s questions on The Iliad (swoon!) for her. She invites him to a party where he gets swindled into fighting the resident badass, Ryan McCarthy (played by Cam Gigandet). He eventually begins training with mixed martial arts leader extraordinaire Jean Roqua (the very large Dijmon Hounsou). It is the basic learn to control what you’ve got story all culminating to one big “beatdown” at the end to prove who the best is. 

 Although mostly predictable, the movie captivated me throughout. I spent the whole movie waiting in anticipation for the inevitable time when the underdog would win. Throw in some really awesome fight scenes, some character development and lots of sweaty, muscular men and you’ve got a good solid two hours worth of a movie. The cinematography fit in well with the vein of the movie, varying slow and rapid camera movements as well as showing what the rib cage probably looked like as a few ribs were knocked loose. I’m all for bloody fights and they captured the slow descent of being knocked out while teeth and bloody spit goes flying quite well. The music was well picked, upbeat and made me want to go run or lift weights (hello, IPod playlist!).  

Jake’s little brother Charlie (played by Wyatt Smith) had some really great lines and added a dynamic that I think Jake’s character really needed. Charlie needed someone to look up to and, for better or worse, it turned out to be Jake. This aspect became much more interesting when lady love Baja (played by Amber Heard) started showing up. “Whatever she did, you have to forgive her!” All twelve year old boys need a big brother to look up to…or look down to when said brother’s girlfriend is in a tiny pair of shorts straddling him behind his closed bedroom door whilst they make out.  Jake’s new friend, Max, (played by Evan Peters and played that goofy kid Seth on Phil of the Future) introduces Jake to the world of mixed martial arts (not wrestling as a certain someone corrected when I was making reference to hot guys wrestling on the ground). Max takes lessons with Jean Roqua, but knows he will never be as good as Jake so he ends up behind his camera most of the time, filming the fights. And driving his badass black Mustang. Max is lovable in that goofy sidekick kind of way and you really start to like him because he stands by Jake when he needs it the most. Jean really tries to make the most out of Jake while trying to brood over his own malcontent. He sleeps at his gym, washes his face in the sink and kicks the living crap out of a punching bag. Dijmon Hounsou is a scary looking guy, but obviously a gentle giant, even though he looks way bigger than 6’2”. Plus, I like that his goatee is half white. 

 Jake’s mom, Margot (played by Leslie Hope), was the stock pissed-off-at-your-son-because-he’s-been-getting-into-fights-at-school-and-I-don’t-know-how-to-handle-it-mom. There were never any parts when I felt she really had tried to do the best for Jake or that she was at one time a warm and loving mother. There was one scene where she gained a bit of redemption, but it was a little strange to me and all in all I really just didn’t like her.  Just let the kid fight already!  And speaking of fighting, we have to touch on Ryan for a second. Let me just say (and I’ve already been made fun of for this) that I keep saying “Jake Ryan” like the guy from Sixteen Candles instead of separating the two: Jake and Ryan. Cam Gigandet is the guy who played Volchek on The O.C. He was the guy from the wrong side of the tracks that Marisa took a liking to. Until he accidentally killed her. Apparently Cam has such ripped arms (and abs…think a step below Brad Pitt in Fight Club) that he is further typecast into the mean guy who beats people up for sport, but he’s really good at that part so it seems to work for him. He should also continue all endeavors where he is shirtless at least 98% of the time.  

To conclude, this movie was exactly how I expected it to be. Good triumphs over evil in the battle of hot guys. The protagonist gets the hot chick. There’s a dj spinning at every type of battle. In all seriousness, though, fight the good fight and you will find success.  

Rating: Four out of Five Beatdown Championships

Movie Review: 21

 

Let me just say, I was excited about this movie to come out. First of all, Jim Sturgess can make an egg shell sandwich great. Then there’s the lure of Vegas, particularly good looking people in Vegas. Add in some card counting and witty dialogue and you’ve got a winner. (Did I mention Jim Sturgess?) I can say I was not disappointed. Jim plays nerdy M.I.T. genius Ben Campbell who geeks out with his friends building robotic cars and not picking up chicks. I heard an interview with the real Ben Campbell about a month ago and he said he thought it was funny a really good looking guy was playing him because, frankly, he’s not all that attractive. He said he would never get a girl that looks like Kate Bosworth (but at least his character does).  

The movie is pretty typical and the trailer does give away a big chunk of the plot. Ben gets picked to be in the secret underground world of smart M.I.T. card counters who go to Vegas and make a ton of money. They split the profits with their leader Mickey (played by Kevin Spacey who always does the slightly creepy older man thing well). Things go awry, Ben starts to lose the things that matter most to him, but is kind of having the most fun he’s ever had in his life. You see the wiles of Vegas begin to draw him in. The team meets up at the strip club to regroup, he buys expensive suits and hooks up with Jill Taylor (Kate Bosworth). Cue Lawrence Fishburne (who has always made me feel a bit uneasy) to come in and beat the living daylights out of people for counting cards and beating the house too well. “How do you know he’s doing it?” “Because I’m counting.” In comes the collective gasp from the crowd. We all saw the preview and knew he was counting along. The film doesn’t really touch on how he knows what he knows except that he has a bone to pick with Mickey and that he used to have his own casino. I think there were a lot of characters and a lot of character plots in the movie and, while the movie as a whole was well done, there may have been some pieces that didn’t get fully developed because there just wasn’t the time. This did, however, mean we didn’t have to watch too much of Fisher (played by Jacob Pitts) who was one of the many people in the movie who was setting Ben up to fail. There’s nothing like an ornery, probably rich, kid who goes to Vegas, gets jealous, turns raging drunk and ruins the plan for everyone. [Sidenote: If you recognized Pitts from something, but couldn’t quite place him, he played Sam Jones, the college guy Samantha on Sex and the City sleeps with because they share the same name.]   

I have to give a shout out to Aaron Yoo who played Choi, the goofy kleptomaniac on the team. Although we don’t see too much of him, he did steal (hah, no pun intended) most of the funny lines and looked adorable with his messy faux hawk and his big aviator shades. I know I have a soft spot for cute Asians, but he was pretty funny and had just enough lines to be memorable, yet not annoying. I also need to recognize Josh Gad and Sam Golzari (and by recognize I mean look up their names because I had no idea who they were, although Sam Golzari was in that horrible Mandy Moore movie, American Dreamz) for their roles as Ben’s geeked out robot-building friends. They weren’t all that humorous, but completely nailed the uber-nerd role. I have a slight feeling they fit this mold on a pretty regular basis. Sam’s character, Cam, looked like a typical geeky Jewish guy who had the potential to be fairly cute if he wore some different clothes and didn’t just stare at pretty ladies. There was no hope for Josh’s character, Miles, however, as he shoved Twinkies in his mouth by the pair. Miles seemed like he was trying to tap into his awkward fat guy meets trying to be suave ladies man but just ends up weirding them out, but doesn’t quite hit the mark like Jonah Hill who has already filled this niche.  

The ending was probably one of the best parts (yes, other than the part of the movie when Ben and Jill hooking up overlooking Vegas from the suite atop the Hard Rock Hotel). It tied it all back together, adding in a plot twist a la the Oceans movies, doing a slow rewind to show us the “real story”. Like I said, parts of the movie were a bit contrived and predictable. Lots of it was given away during the trailer, but there were some very sweet and intimate moments as well as some funny lines to catch. Of course the boy and girl get together. It’s a movie and they’re both attractive so it doesn’t disappoint us moviegoers. The moral of the story: things will work out for you even after you get your face beat in with ruby studded dice shaped rings on a big, angry black guy’s fist. Oh, and that Jim Sturgess is just as hot with a black eye as he was throwing strawberries at the wall in Across the Universe.

Rating: Four out of Five Winner Winner Chicken Dinners.